I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
