I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Terrible idea I love it
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
