No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
