How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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