Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
