so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
