why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
