glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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