Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
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