If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
