The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
