All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
