coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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