so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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