After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
