and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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