yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
