I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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