sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
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