dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
