omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
