is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
