remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
