So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
