I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
