YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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