woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
