He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
