Tell her she can't have a vagina
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
