spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
