You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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