i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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