I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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