My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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