dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
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