He felt like a one man threesome
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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