The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
