Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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