Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
