Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
