I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
