whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize