dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
