Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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