question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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