god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
