Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I puked a lego.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
