I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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