Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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