brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
