I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
