So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
thus making me awesome and them whores
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
